Diaries of a Former Theme Park Worker: Amusing Stories

In honor of me getting a new job and starting this weekend (yay!), I thought I’d share some rather amusing stories from my old job at a theme park.

6 Going on 16

My first day, a man came in with his daughter, asking desperately if we sold youth t-shirts. I pointed him in the direction of them and he sighed with relief.

“Oh thank god,” he said. The little girl, probably around 5 or 6 years old, unzips her sweatshirt. “I realized as we were standing in line she put on a shirt that was too small.”

And he was right, as the shirt she had on barely covered her belly button. “But I love this shirt, daddy!”

He muttered something to her and payed. “She’s too young to be doing this,” he said. “She’s barely into elementary school.”

Urgent Questions

A lady with her two children followed me from out of the store into the bathroom to ask a question. At least she waited until I was washing my hands.

Miss Observant

I was standing behind the register in the store when a lady walked in, passed racks of clothing, and a blast of A/C. She takes off her sunglasses to ask me, over the cash register, “Is there a store around here?”

I thought she was looking for something specific, but nope. Just a store. Like the one she just walked into. The funniest part was her daughter’s face when she asked the question since she looked so confused.

Another one that was similar was when two teen girls came up to me at an outdoor cart. There was a fun water sprayer area in front of me, a lazy river next to me, and a large water slide behind me. The only way to get to this area was to go through a walkway with a huge sign with the water park on it and to pass the wave pool (along with a bunch of people in swimsuits).

They proceeded to ask me, “Where’s the water park?”

It took every ounce of self control in me to not say anything sarcastic.

Chomper

I was at an outdoor cart when a family came to look for towels. The two little girls found the foam fans/water sprayers and were playing. I didn’t care since their parents were right there, until one of the little girls (probably 7 or 8) bit the foam blade of the fan. She left teeth marks, so I told her mother. I was so lucky it wasn’t one of those bitchy “my child would never to that” mothers because she bought it and told her never to do that again.

Bilingual

A Hispanic family came to that same outdoor cart to find a rash guard for their son. The mother held up one and asked a question (probably something like “Do you like it?”). The son scrunched his nose and said, “No, es feo.” I understood, from my Spanish class, that he had said, “No, it’s ugly” and accidentally laughed out loud.

The Most Excited Person I’ve Ever Seen

It was my third day of work, and I was still learning things. I was in a store that sold pop culture things like from Marvel movies, The Walking Dead, and Doctor Who. One item in there was a shirt with the lyrics from the “Soft Kitty” song from The Big Bang Theory. I was standing behind the counter so I couldn’t see the entrance, but all of a sudden I heard an ear-piercing shriek.

A plump woman, probably in her mid-40’s, runs in and practically wrecks the display (that I had just fixed). She was excitedly babbling about the shirt, sifting through to find her size. She brings it over and practically throws it at me so she can pay for it. I complete the transaction and lean down to grab a bag for her.

When I look back up, she’s standing there, with no shirt on in her fuchsia pink bra. She pulls on her new shirt and hurries off. That image is etched into my brain for eternity.

I don’t think ever in my 17 years on this Earth, I have been that excited about a new shirt that I strip at the checkout to put it on immediately.

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

xx, Hannah

Featured image is not mine.